One Month Later

After four weeks of curls, pressdowns, chins, dips, and awful, awful finishers that may actually violate some clause in the Geneva Convention, my four-week expedition in pursuit of bigger arms in finally over.

The result? An extra 1/4 inch on both arms.

That may sound disappointing, but I've been lifting weights for six years now; any small gain in mass or strength takes some serious scratching and clawing. It doesn't make for very dramatic after photos, but when  you unashamedly check out your arms as much as I do, you notice the difference; there is a muscle bulging from the side that wasn't there before, my forearms feel thicker, and my left bicep doesn't look quite as puny (except it kind of does).

Darren's in a similar boat, even though when you look at him in person the difference seems like night and day. He's doubled his reps with the same weight on the bench press, he can knock out 20 perfect pushups now (he could do maybe 10 shaky ones at the start), and he can do two more pullups than when he started, bringing him up to a grand total of two.

Four weeks is a very, very short amount of time, and a 1/4 inch doesn't look a whole lot bigger. But a contest is a contest, so here are our before and after pics for all to see:


Before on Left/top, After on Right/bottom

Pretty impressive for two drug-free guys who had real lives outside the gym.

Leave a comment telling us who you think made the most progress (we're obviously not factoring in time at the tanning bed). 

The Perfect Meal

Eating healthy is tough. And while we're at it, the sun is hot, Hitler was bad, and Game of Thrones is convoluted. As much as I love lifting heavy stuff, even I have to admit that diet is the biggest factor is living a healthy life in general, and is absolutely key in making progress whether you're trying to lose fat or gain muscle.

But man, is it hard.

I just graduated college six months ago, and I was not above the typical ramen noodle and Little Ceasar's takeout that keeps most of my brethren alive. But I still tried my best to eat healthy most of the time. The problems I faced were/are the same problems most of you probably face: healthy food is expensive, time-consuming to prepare, expensive, and often bland or outright awful, in addition to being expensive.

Which makes my favorite meal even more perfect.

It won't impress Gordon Ramsey, but it definitely gets the job done:

I'll pretend this how civilized I eat all the time.

The solution is as follows:

-Rolled oats (from the can, not the packets)

-Vanilla protein powder (you can do chocolate or strawberry...but don't)

-Chopped fruit (bananas, apples, or blueberries are my favorite)

-Cinnamon to taste
-Splenda to taste

Make the oatmeal as normal, stir in a scoop of protein powder, add the cinnamon and sweetener and fruit, and eat. It takes about 2 minutes (if you're as awesomely efficient as me), it's tasty, and very healthy.

The rolled oats are a great source of fiber and whole grains, the protein powder is as fat-free as protein gets, the fruit is fruit and fruit is good, the cinnamon is delicious and also may improve insulin sensitivity and delay the onset of type II diabetes, and the splenda...might cause cancer, but probably not and it's better than sugar.

Just be warned that microwaving protein powder makes it form a sponge, which is gross, so add it after you make the oats.

Just a quick tip for anyone who doesn't feel like spending thirty minutes making a meal they won't feel guilty about.

Now go forth and eat healthy things.

Friendly Competition

Being an American male, nothing motivates me to be at my best quite like a good competition. As I've mentioned in my last post, I recently began Dan Trink's "2 Tickets to the Gun Show" program to give me an extra push to improve my arms, which have always been a weak point for me. Almost at the same time I started, my good friend and sometimes-client Darren has made the commitment to start working out 4 days a week at his home gym.

We really don't have choice in the matter. A contest must ensue from such a situation. 'Tis law.

For the next four weeks (starting last Monday, to be honest), we're both going to see who can improve their physique the most in four weeks. Darren has the advantage, as he is just starting out and has a fantastic trainer writing his program for him. However, I really, really want bigger arms and this is my first foray into a program dedicated to improving my area with the most room for improvement. And I do mean my arms, thank you.

So here is our proposal: we're going to keep track of our before pictures, and on Sunday, Feburary 24th, we'll take after pictures. The winner will be determined by you guys! And by you guys, I mean the couple of people who I've routed from Facebook with the sole intent of reading this post. The prize? Well...we haven't actually agreed on a prize for the winner yet (*cough* a copy of Doom 3 BFG edition *cough*), so if anyone has some good ideas let us know.

Go forth and Lift heavy things. I know I will.

Here are his before pics:

And here, once again, are mine:

See you in four weeks!






...I want a copy of Doom 3. I know it's like 8 years old but I never played it.

2 Tickets to the Gun Show

Dan John, possibly the man I idealize above all others especially where strength coaching is concerned, talks about "bus bench" versus "park bench" workouts in his book Never Let Go, and how they should be applied throughout life. Park bench workouts are where you just...work out. Get to the gym, perform the act of lifting something a few times, and go home. That's how I've been working out for the past... I don't know, five months. More, probably. I haven't kept track of my weights since summer. There is nothing wrong with working out this way, but I can't say I've made any real progress, I've only staved off regression.

Then there are the bus bench workouts. The structured, goal-oriented programs that got me into lifting in the first place. These are what get you results. Every so often, we need a clear, purposeful program to follow...and actually stick with.

I got an email from Jon Goodman at the Personal Trainer Development Center -which is usually just advice on training and marketing- about a contest Dan Trink was having to promote his new program. It's called "2 Tickets to the Gun Show" and, obviously, it is a program centered around arm development. The contest: take pictures and measurements of your biceps at the beginning and end, and whoever achieves the best results gets some training sessions and a t-shirt.

Arms have always been my weakness. So I bought it and entered.

Now, there isn't anything particularly special about this program. It emphasizes the eccentric portion of the rep, increases the volume for bi's and tri's, and includes a few finishers. That's not the point. The point is having a goal and a program to follow. The worst part is designing the damn thing, and now someone else has done the hard part for me. Now all I have to do is refrain from making excuses and following the program to the letter.

Here are my stats"

Left arm
Unflexed: just under 12.5"
Flexed: 13.5"

Right arm
Unflexed: 12.5"
Flexed: 13.75"

See you in four weeks.

The Best Exercise You're Not Doing

Here's the setup: place a thick towel or Airex pad on a loaded barbell at the center, and deadlift the bar so that the pad is pinned at your pelvis. Sit down on a bench perpendicularly, and carefully scoot forward until your upper back is on the bench. Relax your glutes and let the barbell down toward the floor. To come up, push through your heels and squeeze your glutes to drive the barbell up towards the ceiling. This is known as the glute bridge, and no one does it.

There isn't a pretty way to sell the barbell glute bridge.  It looks like this:

My expression does not add much hardcore legitimacy to the matter.

It looks like you're humping the barbell. And to be honest, that's a fair and accurate representation of the exercise.

But here's the thing: I can't think of a better motion to activate the glutes, and as an added bonus it almost completely spares the lower back. As important it is to develop the hinge, it's an easy motion to screw up without outside guidance. But with the hip bridge, it's as simple as picking your hips off the ground by pushing through your heels; there aren't many other teaching cues, at least none that I've had to use. And when you add weight, you're well on your way to a strong and gloriously sculpted butt.

So why doesn't anyone do it?

Because it looks like you're humping a barbell.

Trainers already subject their clients to unique forms of embarrassment on a regular basis, but making one of my guys or girls do a  weighted glute bridge because it's a little more effective than other, far less gawk-worthy exercises just seems....wrong, somehow. Like I'm punishing them for a severe infraction to my being.

Still, I obviously do these myself. Being a trainer myself, anything I do just looks like the next great thing in fitness (at least in my head) and I absolutely love them. I figure as long as I don't make eye contact with anyone, they're worth the trouble and tighter jeans. Wait...ew, phrasing.