The Journey Begins... My First Two Days

May 6, 2013 - Workout Day 1

11 am - Preparation

Yesterday I turned twenty-six.  Today I bulk.

Following a recommendation from my dear personal trainer friend, and the creator of this blog, I will be following a bulking plan prescribed by Dan John in his book Mass Made Simple.  Evidently for the next six weeks  I will be eating somewhere around four hundred peanut butter sandwiches a day while punishing my body with an exhausting complex and six hundred thousand four hundred and three squats.  Ok, it’s squats at a relatively low weight, but tell me that isn't still pure evil.

I’m heading to the grocery store later to buy more food. Seriously, I’m going to probably be eating my bodyweight in high protein food.  It looks like I’ll be focusing on lean meats, vegetables, beans, fruit, and all of the peanut butter.  I don’t think you understand me, I’m not saying “a lot of peanut butter.”  I’m going to be the Ron Swanson of peanut butter sandwiches.

I’ll let you know how it goes.  Hold on to your hats, you’re probably in for some grade-A, high-quality, top-shelf whining later.

3 pm - Post Shopping

Well, my wallet just lost some weight.  Nothing notable about my grocery trip except for "forgetting" the PB&J ingredients.

6 pm - Post Workout

Ok.  I’ll spare you the tears and moaning.  Let’s just say this workout kicked. my. butt.

I will take some of the responsibility for this.  I only glanced at the workout instructions for the complex before getting started. I didn't see that I only had to do three reps of each exercise in my complex on the first day, so I did the full eight like an idiot.  But I guess it’s better to do more than less, right?

I only ran into one issue that wasn't self-inflicted: I work out in a home-gym environment, so I use adjustable dumbbells.  One of the exercises requires stair stepping up each weight on the dumbbell rack, so I had to adjust how to do it.  I’ll figure out a better solution to this later.  NOTE TO SELF: ask Justin...

Also, anyone who tells you that high-rep squats aren't that bad is a dirty liar.  And please kick them in the shins for me.  They were just as terrible as I had feared.  I managed less than half of my reps before my legs decided not to bend anymore.  I forced through almost non-squats to hit my thirty.

I’m going to go soak and drink my protein (trying strawberry for the first time).

May 7, 2013 – Recovery Day

So, I’m sore.  Especially in the legs.  Luckily, I’m in decent enough shape that I’m not entirely immobilized.  But trust me when I say that this program I've started isn't for the complete beginner or someone who isn't serious about putting on mass.

I did some light yoga today to recover.  I’ll admit I’m not nearly as flexible as I would like to be, nor do I have the mental flexibility to relax in the slightest, but it was something different.  Maybe I’ll improve here too.  There's no possible way I could get any worse.

Oh, and the eating.  I've only been doing this for a day, 24 hours, and I feel like I've crammed down a week’s worth of food.  Blargh.  But I’m required to eat three meals a day, and like 4 snacks.  I’m putting off resorting to PB&J as long as possible.  Knowing that it’s the perfect food for what I’m doing makes it almost unpalatable… funny how the brain works.

Well, I guess that’s all I have to say for today.  Tomorrow is another workout, and trust me, after yesterday’s debacle, I’m going to read my workout much more carefully.

One Month Later

After four weeks of curls, pressdowns, chins, dips, and awful, awful finishers that may actually violate some clause in the Geneva Convention, my four-week expedition in pursuit of bigger arms in finally over.

The result? An extra 1/4 inch on both arms.

That may sound disappointing, but I've been lifting weights for six years now; any small gain in mass or strength takes some serious scratching and clawing. It doesn't make for very dramatic after photos, but when  you unashamedly check out your arms as much as I do, you notice the difference; there is a muscle bulging from the side that wasn't there before, my forearms feel thicker, and my left bicep doesn't look quite as puny (except it kind of does).

Darren's in a similar boat, even though when you look at him in person the difference seems like night and day. He's doubled his reps with the same weight on the bench press, he can knock out 20 perfect pushups now (he could do maybe 10 shaky ones at the start), and he can do two more pullups than when he started, bringing him up to a grand total of two.

Four weeks is a very, very short amount of time, and a 1/4 inch doesn't look a whole lot bigger. But a contest is a contest, so here are our before and after pics for all to see:


Before on Left/top, After on Right/bottom

Pretty impressive for two drug-free guys who had real lives outside the gym.

Leave a comment telling us who you think made the most progress (we're obviously not factoring in time at the tanning bed). 

Halfway There

Two weeks down in my "Gun Show" program, and two weeks to go! Darren is making some quite frankly unfair progress, and I'm adhering to my program and eating big to make my gains. It has been pretty refreshing to have a program laid out for me, and I'm doing a decent job about not making adjustments. Although, I did substitute TRX bicep curls for Trink curls, and did the bi blaster instead of...

NO. BAD JUSTIN.

But come on. Look at this thing:

It is impossible not to look badass while using the bicep blaster. Better than the preacher curls I was supposed to be doing in my opinion, and maybe I'll substit-

STOP IT JUSTIN, STOP.

Ugh. Fine.

As far as the contest goes, here's how we're doing:

Maybe...maybe a little something extra? Maybe? Please?

And Darren:

That's dumb. He's dumb.

I'm beginning to re-think this whole "progress-based" rule. Just remember, he's doing the program I wrote for him.

He would have nothing without me.

Nothing. 

Friendly Competition

Being an American male, nothing motivates me to be at my best quite like a good competition. As I've mentioned in my last post, I recently began Dan Trink's "2 Tickets to the Gun Show" program to give me an extra push to improve my arms, which have always been a weak point for me. Almost at the same time I started, my good friend and sometimes-client Darren has made the commitment to start working out 4 days a week at his home gym.

We really don't have choice in the matter. A contest must ensue from such a situation. 'Tis law.

For the next four weeks (starting last Monday, to be honest), we're both going to see who can improve their physique the most in four weeks. Darren has the advantage, as he is just starting out and has a fantastic trainer writing his program for him. However, I really, really want bigger arms and this is my first foray into a program dedicated to improving my area with the most room for improvement. And I do mean my arms, thank you.

So here is our proposal: we're going to keep track of our before pictures, and on Sunday, Feburary 24th, we'll take after pictures. The winner will be determined by you guys! And by you guys, I mean the couple of people who I've routed from Facebook with the sole intent of reading this post. The prize? Well...we haven't actually agreed on a prize for the winner yet (*cough* a copy of Doom 3 BFG edition *cough*), so if anyone has some good ideas let us know.

Go forth and Lift heavy things. I know I will.

Here are his before pics:

And here, once again, are mine:

See you in four weeks!






...I want a copy of Doom 3. I know it's like 8 years old but I never played it.

2 Tickets to the Gun Show

Dan John, possibly the man I idealize above all others especially where strength coaching is concerned, talks about "bus bench" versus "park bench" workouts in his book Never Let Go, and how they should be applied throughout life. Park bench workouts are where you just...work out. Get to the gym, perform the act of lifting something a few times, and go home. That's how I've been working out for the past... I don't know, five months. More, probably. I haven't kept track of my weights since summer. There is nothing wrong with working out this way, but I can't say I've made any real progress, I've only staved off regression.

Then there are the bus bench workouts. The structured, goal-oriented programs that got me into lifting in the first place. These are what get you results. Every so often, we need a clear, purposeful program to follow...and actually stick with.

I got an email from Jon Goodman at the Personal Trainer Development Center -which is usually just advice on training and marketing- about a contest Dan Trink was having to promote his new program. It's called "2 Tickets to the Gun Show" and, obviously, it is a program centered around arm development. The contest: take pictures and measurements of your biceps at the beginning and end, and whoever achieves the best results gets some training sessions and a t-shirt.

Arms have always been my weakness. So I bought it and entered.

Now, there isn't anything particularly special about this program. It emphasizes the eccentric portion of the rep, increases the volume for bi's and tri's, and includes a few finishers. That's not the point. The point is having a goal and a program to follow. The worst part is designing the damn thing, and now someone else has done the hard part for me. Now all I have to do is refrain from making excuses and following the program to the letter.

Here are my stats"

Left arm
Unflexed: just under 12.5"
Flexed: 13.5"

Right arm
Unflexed: 12.5"
Flexed: 13.75"

See you in four weeks.