The Journey Begins... My First Two Days

May 6, 2013 - Workout Day 1

11 am - Preparation

Yesterday I turned twenty-six.  Today I bulk.

Following a recommendation from my dear personal trainer friend, and the creator of this blog, I will be following a bulking plan prescribed by Dan John in his book Mass Made Simple.  Evidently for the next six weeks  I will be eating somewhere around four hundred peanut butter sandwiches a day while punishing my body with an exhausting complex and six hundred thousand four hundred and three squats.  Ok, it’s squats at a relatively low weight, but tell me that isn't still pure evil.

I’m heading to the grocery store later to buy more food. Seriously, I’m going to probably be eating my bodyweight in high protein food.  It looks like I’ll be focusing on lean meats, vegetables, beans, fruit, and all of the peanut butter.  I don’t think you understand me, I’m not saying “a lot of peanut butter.”  I’m going to be the Ron Swanson of peanut butter sandwiches.

I’ll let you know how it goes.  Hold on to your hats, you’re probably in for some grade-A, high-quality, top-shelf whining later.

3 pm - Post Shopping

Well, my wallet just lost some weight.  Nothing notable about my grocery trip except for "forgetting" the PB&J ingredients.

6 pm - Post Workout

Ok.  I’ll spare you the tears and moaning.  Let’s just say this workout kicked. my. butt.

I will take some of the responsibility for this.  I only glanced at the workout instructions for the complex before getting started. I didn't see that I only had to do three reps of each exercise in my complex on the first day, so I did the full eight like an idiot.  But I guess it’s better to do more than less, right?

I only ran into one issue that wasn't self-inflicted: I work out in a home-gym environment, so I use adjustable dumbbells.  One of the exercises requires stair stepping up each weight on the dumbbell rack, so I had to adjust how to do it.  I’ll figure out a better solution to this later.  NOTE TO SELF: ask Justin...

Also, anyone who tells you that high-rep squats aren't that bad is a dirty liar.  And please kick them in the shins for me.  They were just as terrible as I had feared.  I managed less than half of my reps before my legs decided not to bend anymore.  I forced through almost non-squats to hit my thirty.

I’m going to go soak and drink my protein (trying strawberry for the first time).

May 7, 2013 – Recovery Day

So, I’m sore.  Especially in the legs.  Luckily, I’m in decent enough shape that I’m not entirely immobilized.  But trust me when I say that this program I've started isn't for the complete beginner or someone who isn't serious about putting on mass.

I did some light yoga today to recover.  I’ll admit I’m not nearly as flexible as I would like to be, nor do I have the mental flexibility to relax in the slightest, but it was something different.  Maybe I’ll improve here too.  There's no possible way I could get any worse.

Oh, and the eating.  I've only been doing this for a day, 24 hours, and I feel like I've crammed down a week’s worth of food.  Blargh.  But I’m required to eat three meals a day, and like 4 snacks.  I’m putting off resorting to PB&J as long as possible.  Knowing that it’s the perfect food for what I’m doing makes it almost unpalatable… funny how the brain works.

Well, I guess that’s all I have to say for today.  Tomorrow is another workout, and trust me, after yesterday’s debacle, I’m going to read my workout much more carefully.

I S.A.I.D. K.I.S.S.

Exercise physiology has experienced a boom in popularity in the past decade or so, and with the nation's omnipresent obesity epidemic, we're finally getting the respect we deserve as a profession. As I've mentioned before, personal trainers are good for more than just counting reps, and most of us have a well of knowledge that rivals any other profession.

Sometimes, that screws things up.

When you're in possession of that much knowledge, you want to apply all of it, all the time, to show off that you do actually know what you're talking about. Pick up the latest issue of Men's Health and you're bound to see some fitness guru demonstrating barefoot one-legged Yugoslavian kettlebell chops on a balance node to work on improving neuromuscular adaptation, endocrine response, core strength, and sex drive all at the same time.

This is called the hyperextension with  dumbbell scarecrow twist.
I'm not kidding.

I don't think the smart guys over at Men's Health or magazines like it are trying to mess with us by throwing in ridiculous exercise variations like this. They just know if they printed "squat heavy twice a week" every month, people would get bored in a hurry, because the newest stuff must me be the most effective, right? And hey, they're not wrong. To quote Dan John, "Everything works...for about two to six weeks."

Whenever I get off track following the latest fad in fitness, before I take it to heart, I think of two acronyms that never fail to keep me on the right path.

The first is S.A.I.D.

 Specific Adaptations to Imposed Demand.

 In plain English: your body does what you tell it to. If you run for a long time often enough, your body will get better at that. If you lift heavy things off the ground, your body will get better at that too. If you eat Cheetos and look at dirty pictures on the internet all day, your body will adjust to do that as efficiently as possible. 

Here's the thing: each of these goals points in a different direction. Trying to do everything at once is just pulling your body in different directions, so in the end you really end up going nowhere. If you want to get stronger, focus on that. Lift heavy things, eat, recover, and realize that you can practice balancing a barbell on your knee with your eyes closed later. 

The other one is my favorite: K.I.S.S.

Keep It Simple, Stupid.

To get stronger, pick up heavy things.

To get bigger, pick up moderately heavy things a lot.

To get leaner, eat better and keep picking up heavy things. Maybe move around a little more.

To get better at your sport, play your sport a lot.

To eat more Cheetos, buy more Cheetos.

Fundamental movements are fundamental; that one's quoting Mike Boyle. Push, pull, squat, hinge, run, throw, jump, and keep a strong core the whole time. You can reach 90% of your potential just getting better and better at the basics, and that's not just limited to weight training. 

Simplify, and adapt accordingly. 

As always, go forth and lift heavy things.

Justin is a trainer at Lift Fitness and Wellness in Lexington, Kentucky. He lifts stuff. Then, sometimes, he writes blogs, like this one and the one for Lift over at liftfitnessandwellness.blogspot.com