The Journey Begins... My First Two Days

May 6, 2013 - Workout Day 1

11 am - Preparation

Yesterday I turned twenty-six.  Today I bulk.

Following a recommendation from my dear personal trainer friend, and the creator of this blog, I will be following a bulking plan prescribed by Dan John in his book Mass Made Simple.  Evidently for the next six weeks  I will be eating somewhere around four hundred peanut butter sandwiches a day while punishing my body with an exhausting complex and six hundred thousand four hundred and three squats.  Ok, it’s squats at a relatively low weight, but tell me that isn't still pure evil.

I’m heading to the grocery store later to buy more food. Seriously, I’m going to probably be eating my bodyweight in high protein food.  It looks like I’ll be focusing on lean meats, vegetables, beans, fruit, and all of the peanut butter.  I don’t think you understand me, I’m not saying “a lot of peanut butter.”  I’m going to be the Ron Swanson of peanut butter sandwiches.

I’ll let you know how it goes.  Hold on to your hats, you’re probably in for some grade-A, high-quality, top-shelf whining later.

3 pm - Post Shopping

Well, my wallet just lost some weight.  Nothing notable about my grocery trip except for "forgetting" the PB&J ingredients.

6 pm - Post Workout

Ok.  I’ll spare you the tears and moaning.  Let’s just say this workout kicked. my. butt.

I will take some of the responsibility for this.  I only glanced at the workout instructions for the complex before getting started. I didn't see that I only had to do three reps of each exercise in my complex on the first day, so I did the full eight like an idiot.  But I guess it’s better to do more than less, right?

I only ran into one issue that wasn't self-inflicted: I work out in a home-gym environment, so I use adjustable dumbbells.  One of the exercises requires stair stepping up each weight on the dumbbell rack, so I had to adjust how to do it.  I’ll figure out a better solution to this later.  NOTE TO SELF: ask Justin...

Also, anyone who tells you that high-rep squats aren't that bad is a dirty liar.  And please kick them in the shins for me.  They were just as terrible as I had feared.  I managed less than half of my reps before my legs decided not to bend anymore.  I forced through almost non-squats to hit my thirty.

I’m going to go soak and drink my protein (trying strawberry for the first time).

May 7, 2013 – Recovery Day

So, I’m sore.  Especially in the legs.  Luckily, I’m in decent enough shape that I’m not entirely immobilized.  But trust me when I say that this program I've started isn't for the complete beginner or someone who isn't serious about putting on mass.

I did some light yoga today to recover.  I’ll admit I’m not nearly as flexible as I would like to be, nor do I have the mental flexibility to relax in the slightest, but it was something different.  Maybe I’ll improve here too.  There's no possible way I could get any worse.

Oh, and the eating.  I've only been doing this for a day, 24 hours, and I feel like I've crammed down a week’s worth of food.  Blargh.  But I’m required to eat three meals a day, and like 4 snacks.  I’m putting off resorting to PB&J as long as possible.  Knowing that it’s the perfect food for what I’m doing makes it almost unpalatable… funny how the brain works.

Well, I guess that’s all I have to say for today.  Tomorrow is another workout, and trust me, after yesterday’s debacle, I’m going to read my workout much more carefully.

Designing a Basic Workout

I have a paradoxical tendency to over-simplify things in the gym and then make them way too complicated.

By that, I mean I tell people, "Just go in there, pick up something heavy a few times, do it again, repeat until you're tired, and go home."

"Okay. How should I pick them up?"

"Well, pick 1-2 exercises from each of the upper-body push, upper-body pull, lower-body knee-dominant, lower-body hip dominant, and core anti-mover categories, do 2-4 sets of 6-12 repetitions with a weight that is 70%-90% of your one-rep max, and do this 2-4 times per week."

"At some point during that sentence, we stopped being friends."

"...Aw."

As much as I like to make things a simple as possible, I do realize there's a bit more to fitness than picking up  heavy stuff.

I joined my first gym when I was 17 years old. I had been doing push ups, pull ups, curls, and step-ups (onto my rolling computer chair, which I don't recommend unless someone is recording you) at home, and I thought I was in good enough shape to progress to a big-boy gym without embarrassing myself too much.The problem was I had absolutely no structure working out at home; I'd do ten push ups, then ten curls, then I'd watch TV until the next commercial break, then I'd see if I could do eight pull ups and decide that six was still pretty good, then I'd eat a sandwich and do some crunches.

I've yet to see a similar routine in MuscleMag.

So when I finally made it into a big room with benches and weights and the AB DOLLY PRO X I was absolutely clueless. I spent about thirty minutes doing three sets of pull-ups, and then one of the regulars felt pity and let me work in during his routine.

When I got home, I did my research. I'm about to write out the routine I wish I'd found at 17.

Justin's Template for the Basic Workout

Pick one exercise from the following categories:

Upper Body Push

Push up, Bench Press, Dumbbell Shoulder Press

Upper Body Pull

Pull up, Dumbbell Row, Inverted Row

Lower Body Knee-Dominant

Goblet Squats, Barbell Back Squat

Lower Body Hip-Dominant

Deadlift, Kettlebell Swing

Core Anti-Movement

Front Plank, Ab Wheel Rollouts

-Do these exercises in a circuit if you can, with about one minute of rest between each. Repeat this circuit three times.

-If you can't do them in a circuit, do all three sets of one exercise before moving to the next, with one minute of rest between sets.

-Perform each exercise for ten repetitions, with a weight that feels heavy around the eighth rep. If you're doing a body weight exercise, feel free to go above or below ten reps depending on your ability. For the front plank exercise, start at twenty seconds.

-Do this routine three times per week. Pick a different exercise from each category every time if you can. Write down your weights and reps, and try to get better at one or the other when you do the same exercise at a later date. 

There you have it. Simple, but hopefully not too simple. I think my 17-year-old self could benefit greatly from this, though if he keeps eating a Tony's pizza every night and avoiding protein at all costs it probably won't do him much good. 

If you would like further elaboration, feel free to leave a comment or contact me on my Google + page, because using that instead of Facebook makes me feel special and unique. 

Go forth and lift heavy things.