Diary of a Fasting Man

So, summer is almost here, and I have a little more jiggle around my waistline than I'd like. However, I'm also training to enter an weightlifting competition. In my experience, I cannot get stronger, at least to any significant degree, while going on an effective diet to lose weight. A caloric deficit just seems to ruin my workouts.

My solution: intermittent fasting. It's a way of eating that has become really popular with fitness professionals recently. I didn't say "diet", because you're eating normal, healthy foods, but only eat them certain times and fast the rest.

Despite it being simple, I don't feel like explaining it because shut up. Here's an infographic that does a better job than I ever could.

To stick my toe in the water, I'm going the one-day approach: Don't eat for 24 hours. From 10 pm on Saturday, May 18, to 10 pm on Sunday, May 19, I can drink water and coffee and green tea to my heart's content, but no food. Indeed, nothing with any calories whatsoever.

This is the log of my experience.


Saturday, 10 pm- Okay, just finished up my last meal for 24 hours.

Liver and Onions.

Liver is supposed to be like..the best food ever for you. It's also, however, a liver. I kind of tastes like squishy pennies, and the whole time I was eating it I couldn't not  think about punching into a cow and ripping out its liver (one of its livers? I don't know cow anatomy) and throwing it in a skillet.

Anyway, fasting isn't looking as bad now.

Sunday, 11: 30 am- This is when I for real sat down to write this blog entry. I have a cup of coffee in hand, and so far no appetite to speak of. Googling "liver and onions" helped. 

However, I've tried not eating a whole day before, back when I was a teenager. I vowed not to eat during the weekends so I could lose weight (because shut up, you weren't a rocket scientist either). I made it 6 hours. 

Today, I'm going to remind myself of why I'm doing this by sitting without a shirt on and looking down at how my fat rolls bunch up and grabbing them while calling myself names before seriously considering whether or not I have medically significant body issues. Huh. 

2:12 pm - Okay, so the first hunger pangs are finally starting to hit. I'm used to eating right as I wake up, so four hours later... yeah, I can feel it. So far, it's manageable. I'll just drink some water and play Xbox to keep myself occupied.


3:51 pm - Starting to feel it now. That sort of weak feeling you get when you're really hungry. Coffee should help. Yeah. gonna drink some more coffee. That'll clear up the jitters. I'm I skinny yet?

Darren kind of looks like a turkey leg.


4:41 pm- coffee has not made me less jittery. Water now.


5:39 pm - Feeling great, actually. Hunger is gonOH GOD NOW THAT I'M WRITING ABOUT IT THE HUNGER IS BACK WHAT HAVE I DONE

So yeah, I don't know if its actually hunger, or appetite. I've found that I'm pretty much surrounded by food, all day, all the time. It makes me wonder how much I would crave food if it wasn't always immediately available.

Something to think about; brain food, if you wTHAT WAS STUPID I DID IT AGAIN


6:27 pm - This is where it starts getting tough. All I can think about is that I know in 3.5 hours I can eat again, and it's going to be a protein shake and a big pizza and breadsticks and a PB&J because shut up, I'll do what I want, no it's not negating any benefits I got from fasting, shut up. Oh my....pizza... it's going to be amazing.


6:50 pm - I'm going to watch how i met your mother and hope they don't talk about food they wouldnt do that would they why would they be mean like that


7:28 pm - Friends are over. They want to play Magic. They don't know my pain. They don't know what I'm going through. So I'm making a point to bring it up every 9 seconds. My pain will be their pain.


8:12 pm -  That pizza is going to be amazing. I'm going to eat it so hard. I'm going to savor it and let it swim in my mouth and whisper sweet nothings to my taste buds before gracefully sliding to its rightful place in my gullet.


8:13 pm - Food is better than sex. I know that now. I know that because I've decided that I'm not actually all that hungry. But the thought of eating something delicious after not eating anything at all for .... 22 hours and 13 minutes is at the forefront of my mind and it isn't leaving.


8: 19 pm - Still there. Yup.


8: 27 pm - There's only an hour and a half left to go. I can't tell if that makes it easier or harder. But I'm going to make it , and I'm not even going to pretend it was all that hard. There are starving kids in the world who have been three days without food and they're thankful when they get a bowl of under cooked white rice for their one meal before the next three days without food.

On a side note, I don't know if I feel good about myself forcing a fast to look better when so many people do it because there is no food to eat.


8:59 pm - Game of Thrones time.


9: 10 pm - Also Game of Thrones time.


9:31 pm - Ordering that pizza online while still trying to watch Game of Thrones. OH HELL YEAH YOU TELL HIM TYRION.


10:00 pm - 

10:20 pm - Ughl....stomach may have shrank a bit during the past 24 hours....normal pizza load not well received...no touch me now.....Am I pretty yet?



The Next Day: 

So, it's done. And you know what? I'm going to do it again. I don't feel weak today, and I don't feel like I need to eat two days worth of food to make up for yesterday. FYI, I normally overeat pizza when it's available to me, so last night wasn't out of the ordinary....except for the fact I got full quicker than normal.

One of the primary benefits cited by intermittent fasting is appetite control, and I can definitely see it. One bowl of oatmeal this morning, and I feel like I could go hours without eating, which is normal for normal people, not normal for me.

The effects? I couldn't tell you. It's been one day. What I'm going for here is a hormonal change, which could take weeks to take effect, especially if I'm only doing one day a week. The most popular methods involve fasting 16 hours every day, eating good food (which apparently isn't pizza) during the 8 hour window. I might progress to that, because 8 hours sounds like a long time to eat. It means you skip breakfast, but that just means I'm eating eggs, turkey bacon, and wheat toast for lunch instead.

All in all, I can see how this works for people. Everything works. There are tons of success stories of people using intermittent fasting, and tons of success stories from almost every other diet ever written. The key is finding something you can do that won't kill you or compromise your health.

I'll try it again next Sunday, if that's any indication.

7 Minutes of SCIENCE!!

SCIENCE, HO!!!!

I love me some science. Maybe because that's just the in thing nowadays, maybe it's because I work in a profession perceived to be dragging its knuckles and grunting loud noises and I like to break the stereotype, or maybe it's because I'm actually smart.

No one asked you, stock image of laughing business people.

Training is, in large part, a trial-and-error process. Even today, with exercise physiology a rapidly growing field of scientific research, most trainers and fitness buffs rely primarily on personal experience to let us know what works and what doesn't. This is due in part to the fact that some of us are exactly as stubborn and thick-skulled as the aforementioned stereotype suggests, eyeing research like a new form of magic to be feared and distrusted. However, this is also due to the fact that, as a new field, there are a lot of bad studies out there that do little to broaden our understanding of the field.

That's why I love reading the good stuff.

A recent study by the University of Buffalo and published in the Journal of Strength and Conditioning Research looked at the various metabolic differences between traditional methods of cardio, such as walking for long periods of time on the treadmill, and high-intensity interval training, in this case sprinting.

If you're not familiar with high-intensity interval training, let me sum it up for you: Work really hard for a short time. Rest for a short time. Do it again until you're done. (If this thesis-worthy explanation has left you wanting, I'll elaborate in a bit.)

They observed things like VO2 max (a measure of how hard your lungs are working), heart rate, blood lactate levels (a measure of how hard your muscles are working), and total calories burned.

The results? The subjects who performed the interval workouts burned the same amount of calories and trained their cardiorespiratory system just as well, despite spending literally half the time working as the steady state group. Just remember, shorter intervals mean harder intervals; the interval group trained at about 90% of their work capacity during their work intervals, instead of the stead-state group who trained at about 70%. 

Now, what does this mean in practical terms? It means that, scientifically speaking, cardio blows and strength training is awesome. Horray science!

Okay, so maybe a bit more guidance is in order. A great example of high-intensity interval training was provided in a recent article by the New York Times, appropriately titled, "The Scientific 7-Minute Workout". The workout involves simple bodyweight movements, with the only equipment required a chair and a wall, two things most of us have laying around somewhere. The "scientific" part lies in the order of the movements combined with the time intervals.

Since you're continually shifting from upper body exercises to lower body ones, your heart keeps working hard supplying blood to all of the muscle groups instead of just the legs, as would be the case in something like jogging (do not compare the slight motion of your arms in jogging to tricep dips, thank you). 

Here is the workout, as posted in the May 12 issue of The New York Times Magazine:

How do you do it? I'm glad you asked, metaphorical person in my head!

1. Warm up. Follow along with this extremely handsome demonstrator. 

http://youtu.be/7L5KVw2Pwic

2. Go to www.tabatatimer.com and set up the timer in the following manner:

Prepare: 10 sec

Work: 30 sec

Rest: 10 sec

Cycles: 12

Tabatas: 1

You might notice that setting up your workout in this manner results in the workout taking 8 minutes and 10 seconds, not 7 like mentioned in the title. You will ignore this, because shut up.

3. Complete this workout by working as hard as possible during the work time using the exercise provided, and resting during the rest. 

4. Do this workout every other day, on top of your best effort to living an active lifestyle. 

 This simple routine is a fantastic introduction to interval training. It's short, lasting just 7 minutes (you will shut up so help me god) and covers the entire body, using the pace of the strength exercises to train the heart in tandem. If you're sick of running miles in the rain, nursing shin splints and losing muscle instead of fat, you can literally do this right now, using the chair you're sitting on and the wall your computer is plugged into.

There you have it. Detailed instructions for a simple workout you can do at home that is as effective -if not more so- than the traditional methods of "cardio" so many associate with weight loss. It's up to you to build up the motivation to follow through with it.

Now go forth! Lift heavy things, for SCIENCE!!!!!

Supplement Choices for People With No Money

Five seconds of flipping through any muscle magazine will let you in on the industry's worst kept secret: supplements are a gazillion dollar industry with one hand around the author's throat and the other hand also around that author's throat.

YOU CAN'T BUILD MUSCLE WITHOUT 200 GRAMS OF ZYGOTAPHLATHINE XTREME A DAY. SAY IT.

It's a hard pill to swallow (HAHA DO YOU SEE HOW CLEVER I AM) but a lot of supplements are garbage. The supplement industry isn't regulated by the FDA, which means not only can they make unsupported claims, but they don't even have to prove their product is safe before it comes on the market.

This clip from the documentary "Bigger, Stronger, Faster" provides a good look into what goes into the various muscle milks that take up half the paper in your magazine. Also there's a guy with, like huge arms. Like redonkulously huge arms. 

That's not to say there aren't some products out there that can legitimately help you towards your fitness goals, but you have to know what you're looking for. Instead of just looking at product names, know the ingredients that work and make sure they're in ample supply. 

Here's my list of the only supplements that you should consider unless you have money to burn.

1. Whey Protein

Whey protein is the quicker-digesting of the two proteins you'll find in milk, the other one being Casein. I don't even consider this a supplement anymore. It's the absolute easiest way to get protein in your diet: scoop, shake, drink, there's 25 grams of protein in less than 60 seconds. It's also extremely versatile. Aside from shakes and smoothies, you can also throw a scoop in oatmeal or baked goods. Combined with the fact that, gram for gram of protein, it's actually one of the cheapest sources of protein out there, this is the safest jug of powder you'll find at GNC. 

2. Creatine

Creatine is involved in the body's most immediate way of producing energy, which makes it valuable for weightlifters and anyone else who needs quick bursts of strength and energy. Creatine might be the supplement with the most extensive research behind it, and finding good research on a supplement is like finding a unicorn, at least until very recently. Studies like this one provide pretty supportive evidence that creatine supplementation increases muscular size and strength compared to a placebo. It's relatively inexpensive, but you will still save money by buying the ingredient, rather than a big tub with a hundred other things that may or may not work.

3. Caffeine 

Yeah, you read that right. In just about every pre-workout supplement mix you can buy, you'll find this as a primary ingredient. There are studies to support that caffeine increases both muscular strength and endurance, and caffeine is like...everywhere. Instead of buying and expensive pre-workout supplement, try using Crystal Light Energy packets, provided you ignore the extensive use of "girl power" in that advertisement. It's got plenty of caffeine, and you can take it with you to pour in your water bottle....actually, just go with the Kroger brand. They don't emasculate me like Crystal Light does. What, Kraft, you think guys can't benefit from a flavored energy-boosting water enhancement powder? 

I AM A MAN, DAMN IT.

4. Fish Oil

Fish Oil does everything. You don't eat enough fish, I'm guessing, and the capsules are cheap. Take it. 

These are what I take, and I have an amount of money that many people would consider to be no money. The number one thing that will make or break your progress is the actual, real food that you eat, so don't even consider supplements until you have your diet under control. If you have more money than no money and are considering braving the counters and salespeople of your local supplement store, here are some things to consider:

-Beware of the term "proprietary blend". This is a way for supplement makers to spout off a list of impressive ingredients without telling you how much of each one is actually contained in the product. Without an amount listed next to each ingredient, there's a good chance you're buying a pill full of rice flour.

-Testosterone boosters don't work. Don't waste your money. These products want you to think they're legal versions of anabolic steroids, and they're not. They also tend to cost more than a week's worth of groceries. 

-Don't buy anything that costs more than a week's worth of groceries, on that note. You're ALWAYS better off buying better food than you would be buying any supplement. Take that money and buy some bison, if you want something expensive that will get you bigger.

-Fat burners don't work. This is from personal experience: taking a "fat burner" doesn't work if you don't change your diet and exercise. You might be saying, "Well, duh, it's meant to enhance a sound exercise and nutrition program, you can't expect it to do all the work". Bull. If it doesn't work by itself, without changing anything else, then it doesn't work. Your diet and exercise program dropped the pounds, not the pill. Spend the money on a padlock for your pantry and you'll lose more weight. 

I think everyone who catches the fitness bug dives into supplements at some point. I spent way too much money I didn't have on them when I was in college, and I didn't make any more progress than I am now when I'm just lifting heavy and eating right. Well, right-ish. 

A lot of lifters swear by supplements, and a lot of them are probably right. A 400-lb bench presser might never get up to 440 without ten tubs of powder, and good for him. But that's what supplements are for: getting you that extra 10% when you've done all the lifting and eating right up to that point. Do right by yourself in the gym and the kitchen, and don't feel like you're missing something by avoiding the drug store. 

Now go forth and pick up heavy things. 

Want to Get Started? Try Showing Up

"80 percent of success is showing up" - Woody Allen

I don't know about you, but when I need motivation to throw some iron around in the gym, I always turn to the wise words of Woody Allen. Sometimes. Once. Anyway, I like that quote.

Nowhere is this sentiment more applicable than the gym. If you come to the gym on a regular basis -I'm talking, 3 days a week for 3 months or more- and do something, you are on the right side of in-shape. You might still be overweight, you might still be using the lightest dumbbells on the rack, you might still be scorekeeper for every pick-up basketball game you are a part of, but I would bet my favorite Adidas ClimaTee that you are not "need-a-doctor, never-take-the-stairs, cholesterol-higher-than-your-credit-score" out-of-shape.

But it starts with walking through the door. You will lose weight or gain weight or get stronger or get faster one way and only one way: bit by bit. You're building a tower on top of quicksand, and if you take too long adding to the top it's just going to sink underground.

Show up. Here is how you do it:

1. Set a goal, and let the world  know. If you want to bench 225, that's a Facebook post you should be making every bench day. Write your current weight on the top of a sheet of paper on your fridge, your goal weight at the bottom, and a weekly weigh-in that hopefully bridges the gap between the two.

 2. Find a gym or buy some equipment. In all honesty, unless you have friends or a favorite trainer to influence your opinion, the most important aspect to look for in a gym is convenience. Your facility should be close by, or on the way home from work. A thirty minute drive to a gym across town is a great reason not to go. Failing that, spend $50 on a pair of adjustable dumbbells; they're really all you need to get started.

3. Have a game plan. I meant it when I said that doing something was good, but having a plan is the way to go. A plan could be:

-Tagging along with a friend who knows what they're doing. Anyone worth their gym socks is happy to show a newbie the ropes. This is how I got started as a fat kid in high school, and I've shown up ever since.

-Google "beginner program" and stick to it. Stick to reputable sources (Men's Health, Shape, Bodybuilding.com, etc.), but pick one.

-Get a trainer. <shameless self-promotion>This is by far the best option, especially if they've earned their stuff from, say, the University of Kentucky and the National Strength and Conditioning Association and have a fondness for teal. The traditional in-person trainer can provide instant feedback and correct your form, all the while yelling at you to do, like, two more reps. Or, you could try out that new-fangled online personal training, where a trainer sends you a personalized program via the internet and provides an online training log and email feedback so that both of your can keep track of your progress. </shameless self-promotion>

Fitness really is one of those life goals that rewards you for diving right in. But you have to show up and give it something as often as you can, else the fickle bastard will leave you to decay at the bottom of a flight of stairs when the elevator is out.

Go forth and lift heavy things. We're saving you a spot.

Basic Gym Etiquette

Going back to working in a bigger gym -as opposed to a small training studio- has reminded me of a basic, all-encompassing human trait:

People are savage, terrible beasts who will desecrate the things you love without repentance.

I, of course, am referring to people who curl in the squat rack. Those monsters. For the sake of all that is gym-holy, please refer to the following lists of things you should and should not do in the gym.

1. Do not curl in the squat rack.

DON'T DO IT. DO NOT CURL IN THE SQUAT RACK.
Why would you? I don't understand. Very, very few people can effectively curl the gym's heaviest un-adjustable barbell, why not just use those? Even if you needed a straight bar, why not start with it on the floor? The squat rack saves you, like two feet, how does this help your biceps grow?

2. Put your weights back when you are finished.

The humanity...

You're here to work out. If you've hoisted a dumbbell, weight plate, or barbell off of its rack to use it, you can put it back. Think of it as a mini farmer's walk.

This goes for plate-loaded machines too. The only way to know if an empty machine is not currently in use by someone in the bathroom is to look and see if it is unloaded. This creates mass chaos, as some loaded machines have been abandoned for days, while others are currently being used by a guy in the world's slowest circuit, and I never assume correctly which is which, and it's like society has no order anymore.

3. Use as few pieces of equipment as possible at any given time. 

These are plyo boxes:

You can jump on them, use them for step-ups, and other neat stuff. However, apparently some people see them as little tables that are designed to hold water bottles, towels, and training logs, because the floor is so far down. 

No joke, I saw not one, but two guys yesterday dragging these from station to station so they wouldn't have to set their stuff down on the dusty old floor. 

This rule also applies to any bench or bench-like object: if it can be used for exercise, do not set your stuff on it. Do not use it as a chair when you are using something else. 

4. Respect the "No-Lift" zone in front of the dumbbell rack.

It's an unwritten rule in most gyms, but there is an area stretching out about five feet in front of the dumbbell racks where it is rude to lift. It's obvious, but some people feel the need to stand right in front of them while curling, because there is also a mirror there and come on what am I supposed to do not stare at my biceps while curling what are you mad that's the whole reason I come here bro.

5. Do not spend more than ten minutes hogging a bench.

Monday is International Bench Press day, when every guy who lifts comes in and does chest. This usually means between two and fifty sets of the flat bench press. This means every guy who comes in is waiting for you to get done, begging for the moment when you finally strip your plates off the bar so they can make a b-line for your bench before literally every other guy and a good portion of the girls can do the same.

Life is hard. Taxes are expensive, the job market is terrible, and I stub my toe on the coffee table like every fifth time I walk through the living room. For many of us, the gym is the only place where we can see tangible rewards for hard work and perseverance, and these evil, heartless people are trying to take that away from me us.

Please, do not be one of them.

Go forth and pick up heavy things, and respect thy neighbor who does the same. 

Going to the Gym (When You Really Don't Want To)

I am a personal trainer by trade. I spent four years going to school with the intent of doing this for the rest of my life.

I read articles and books on strength and conditioning for at least half an hour every day.

I have, more often than I like to admit, been that jerk who chastises people who find excuses not to work out.

And damn it, I did not want to work out last week.

The first week of April was a rough one for me. I decided to leave my old job at LIFT Fitness and was lucky enough to find work at Wildcat Fitness within two days, but as anyone who has gone through transitioning to another phase in their professional career can tell you, it's one of the most stressful things you can put yourself through. There was a lot of uncertainty, a lot of work put in for little tangible gain. And while I'm not exactly starting over, I know that the next few months will be spent building up a new client base, and there is a lot more stress to come.

Working out seemed like the least important thing I could have been doing.

A friend of mine has a pretty nice home gym setup, complete with a squat rack and adjustable dumbbells, and he was gracious enough to let me use his equipment while I was between gyms. Even with his generosity, it took just about all the willpower I had left over from my job search to put on a pair of shorts and squat. I did six sets with a weight I thought was kind of heavy, and quit.

Sometimes that's good enough.

Even for someone who more or less does it for a living, I know that working out should not be the most important thing in your life. That does not, however, mean it's not worth doing even during the most stressful times of your life. Here are some tips to get you to the gym when it's the last thing you want to do.

1. Get in and do something.

Not every workout needs to leave you drenched in sweat with jelly legs that can barely get you back to the car. Sometimes just getting to the gym and moving around is enough to keep you from losing the progress you have made with such workouts in the past. Do a set or two of goblet squats, some pullups, your favorite machine and ab exercise, and go home. Don't think ten minutes in the gym is a waste of time.

2. Have someone else write your workout.

I've mentioned it before, but this can do wonders for your work ethic. I was surprised at just how much willpower it took for me to write an honest workout for myself, until I bought Dan Trink's arm program and, more recently, started following the Olympic lifting workouts on Central Kentucky Weightlifting's blog. There's no more, "should I do another exercise for my shoulders?". Instead, you look at what's written, and do it.

3. Work out with someone who needs it.

There is no shame in getting out of shape. Life happens. But sometimes it gets to the point where it puts you at risk for losing your quality of life, and going to the gym becomes a literal life-saving endeavor. Maybe you have a coworker who has constant back and neck pain from her office job, maybe your mother is becoming at risk for type II diabetes, maybe your friend is clinically obese. Work out with them. Hold them accountable for making this important change. If you miss a workout, they might miss a workout. When it's someone else's health at risk, getting to the gym makes a big jump on your priority list. And hey- they might end up being your inspiration instead. 

These are just some ideas to get you through a rough patch. My goal is to make everyone I train love the gym as much as I do, and to make those patches as short as possible. As for me, all it took was a new facility and a new pair of Olympic lifting shoes to get me back on track.

Despite matching absolutely nothing I own

Go forth, fight through it, and pick up heavy things.